the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
