I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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