operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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