why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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