It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
