i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
