she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
