I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
