dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
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If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
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Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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