The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
