so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
