You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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