i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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