I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
