You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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