I think I won the penis lottery.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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