I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
