I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
