how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me I should be a condom model.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
