Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
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Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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