woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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