I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
