she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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