Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
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Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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