You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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