she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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