i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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