didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
