The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
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i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
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Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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