i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
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