I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
