Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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