i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
