She's JV to your varsity
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
