Got a toothbrush?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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