he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
