"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
