so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
