Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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