one two three fourrrrnication!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
