Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
