Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
