Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
