My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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