I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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