Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
