I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
