The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
