So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just had sex bonerless
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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