at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
