Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
