I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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