Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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