people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
3pm strippers are depressing
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
