i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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