Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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