Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
a search helicopter?!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
