If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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