I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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