it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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