I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
