Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
barbara walters just said penis...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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